“Me Too”

It’s hard to see all of the “me toos”, but since I have been somewhat vocal about my rape I am not surprised. Since I shared my story, “me too” has been the most frequent response.

Dozens of women have reached out to me over the past five years, looking for solace in someone else who would understand. Twice, the person reaching out was a victim in the previous 24 hours looking for advice. They are everywhere.

I spoke up not for my own protection, but to hopefully deter my abuser from ever putting his hands on someone else. If he did, my statements at the very least could possibly help a future victim. My case was thrown out by the DA for conflicting testimonies before it ever made it to trial. I said he did, he said he didn’t – it was to be expected.

I wish I could say I was stronger from this, but I just can’t. I feel so beaten down. The local police department tried to charge my abuser as if he had disabled me because the truth is, he did. PTSD has been debilitating.

I feel like who I once was has been stolen from me. I used to be so motivated, so energetic. What I used to find joy in I simply can’t anymore. It has been almost 3 years since I’ve had the ability to go back onstage. I just can’t have that many eyes on me anymore. I used to have such joy in it, it used to give me life, but my rapist is an actor – that’s how I met him -and that environment is too triggering now. I don’t recognize myself from who I was before. He stole the light in my life and I’m still struggling to find it.

I’ve been strong but I still blame myself constantly. What if I never let this older man into my life? What if I tried to stop it sooner? What if I had somewhere to run? Looking back I realize nothing would have stopped him.

You aren’t alone. I don’t know what else to say.

Shiny Blue Mean Mug

Back at it again – another product to review. I was sent these products for free for testing purposes in exchange for my honest review.

Since this is a skincare product, I’ve given myself 2 weeks of use before coming here to review. I wanted to make sure I had a full idea of how my skin was reacting.

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Component 1: Pure Clay Cleanser for Daily Detox: Detox & Brighten Charcoal
Retail: ~$6.99

I have to admit that I’ve been groomed to believe that the higher the price, the higher the quality of the product. This is not the case here. This product is just as good as any from Sephora that I have tested for a similar time period. As is the case with any new skin product, it does require a little time for your skin to adjust but that is to be expected. My skin appears to love it and I have not experienced any breakouts or irritation, nor any additional dry skin. Since I have very dry skin, I am always worried that a cleanser will strip my skin of all moisture. The clay-to-mousse is a unique texture that helps to remove everyday impurities with 3 pure clays and charcoal – it does exactly that. The only downside is L’Oreal’s notorious past that confirms this product is not cruelty-free.

Component 2: Pure Clay Mask for Weekly Detox: Clear & Comfort Seaweed
Retail: ~$12.99

I don’t love all face masks. Some leave my dry skin feeling so dry and overexerted. I was worried that this, marketed as a clay mask, would cause this same reaction. What I did not realize was that while this is part of the “pure clay mask” collection, this is NOT a charcoal mask (there is one in the collection!) – it is a seaweed-based mask. It is a shimmery navy blue clay mask. It relaxed my skin without stripping it of all of the oils. I’ve used the mask twice now and intend to use it for a third time after posting this review. I only wish it were cruelty-free.